CHAPTER 26

Later – after David is gone and Richard is back from taking David to the airport with Stacy

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“Now here’s the hard part for you to understand, Susan” – Ron explained – “and I am not trying to make excuses for David at all, believe me, about his behaviors - especially the infidelity - there is not any reason or excuse which makes that behavior acceptable – But you really need to hear this Susan, and I told you before – David is sick Susan – he is just as sick as if he had cancer or diabetes – and in a very real way Susan David is innocent – he literally cannot control his behavior, he is just that sick – he has a socially and biologically inherited illness which is in an almost epidemic proportion throughout the world today. But drugs and alcohol are only a symptom of this deeper problem – they are a coping mechanism for the deeper pains and fears we all are dealing with – why today there are over 30 million people who are on prescription drugs just to alleviate the symptoms of the many forms of this mental illness - but the truth be told - this is all really a Spiritual collapse in the moral fabric of our international adult society.

Susan – said in a low tone – “I know Ron – and I’m sorry I kind of freaked out like that – but – well I just feel such a great sense of loss - I lost my best friend – like I don’t even know David – like he is not the person I married.”

“He isn’t Susan - and he never will be again – the David you married is gone – but here is the good news – if David goes through the process and takes on recovery seriously – you and he will come to know a new David – a happier and more sensitive David – he will be gentler and more understanding and calmly sympathetic – but it will take probably 2 years of consistent sobriety work for David to integrate the majority of changes needed to take place in his personality – he and you will need to learn - for the first time, really - how to be consciously happy and responsible - then you will both be much happier – trust me on this – I have known literally hundreds of people who, after getting sober, find a new self and a new take on life, And you were right about his relationship to God – that too will change profoundly if David commits to living a sober life – and that too will not always be easy for him or for you – finding the God of your understanding is very difficult at first – but you have your Alanon support and I know Richard and Stacy understand the opportunity and journey ahead of you both. And, God willing, he will come out of treatment with a different perspective. So as I mentioned to you before – I am recommending a 90 day treatment program for David – he defiantly, in my opinion, has some very deep co-dependant and childhood issues to deal with.

Ron paused to allow Susan to take it all in – he glanced at Richard who was looking at him and nodded his head in compassionate approval and felt grateful that Ron had spoken up and given Susan another vision of the situation - and he mouthed “thank you” to Ron.

Ron nodded affirmatively in return.

Susan was now gazing blankly out the window onto the bay, lost in the reflections on the water which sort of mesmerized her and brought her into a state of semi-conscious presence.